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Sunday, June 28th, 2009
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8:18 pm
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It's been over a year and a half since Joseph's passing, yet I'm still not used to this life. The days of strolling through Silvermoon with a handsome gentleman to my side, having so many friends stop by each night, so many stories told, laughs shared. Those days are over. These days it's Beth and I. She's growing quickly, she points at things and speaks, I read to her and recall the stories of my friends. Rua and Reni, Rajan and Marley, Zanik, Lukastya, Vivimord, Paugus, Fabio, Loche, and all the others. They're just shadows to me now, all but Zanik. I pushed him away for this lonely life, didn't I? I suppose I chose this path. Always following in the shadow of a rogue, always waking up to the other side of the bed being empty and cold. If I were to ask one to hold my hand and stroll through town with me, I think they'd laugh. They don't want to be seen with me or seen at all, really.
I recalled the tale of Joseph last night to a young elf who seemed interested. I collapsed when I got home, I scared poor Elizabeth. I held her and I cried, Gods, I didn't know there were that many tears in me. I made her cry, our psychic bond is strong, and I shared my pain with her. How could I? I couldn't stop myself. I needed someone, anyone, to know my anguish. She didn't seem to fault me for it afterward. She curled up into my stomach and we slept like that, long into the morning.
And now, here I sit, staring at the sun as it makes it's way down. I'll keep walking this rocky path and keep making the same mistakes. I'll hand myself over to be used, I'll love and find nothing in return. I suppose it's some kind of ugly destiny, and it is my own choice. My own path to atone for the sins of the man I married, the man I guarded and protected as he raped and murdered and destroyed. Yes, this road I'm on suits me just fine.
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| Tuesday, June 16th, 2009
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10:58 pm
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I think I understand you now.
It's easier for you to do what you do without someone to come home to. It's easier to perform without love in your heart. The world is black and bleak to you, and that's what makes you good at what you do. You need me, but you don't want me. You don't love me but you don't hate me either. You can't figure out what to do with me, so perhaps I should just take myself out of the equation. Then you'll be good at what you do again.
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| Sunday, June 14th, 2009
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6:12 am
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I spoke awhile with Miss Delial today. I probably said more than I should have about Dracarys. I don't know the whole story with them, but I feel like he has a lot he wants to tell her.
I'm tired. The fashion show was exhausting, but fun, until (something is scratched out to the point where it is unreadable)
Miss Kost sure is pretty.
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| Wednesday, June 10th, 2009
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10:44 am
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What does he think of me? Does he even care about me? Am I just a toy to him? Are all people just a toy? Are we here for him to antagonize, to push buttons?
He hurt Sam's feelings today. He listened in while we spoke privately. I do not know what to say to him, as he feels no remorse or doubts. It's times like these that I wish I had someone to confide in, but there really is no one. He has ears everywhere.
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| Monday, June 8th, 2009
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12:19 am
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I keep thinking it was a ghost. But ghosts don't smell like cherries. Ghosts don't take harsh words to heart. I made him sad, didn't I. A bastard first and a gentleman second, I'll remember that, Dracarys.
If I see him again, I'm going to hit him.
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| Friday, June 5th, 2009
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2:07 pm
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Life has been rather hectic, journal. Shukir keeps me very busy, and though I feel like he trusts me, Ska insists that he does not. I still don't understand this little sister of mine. She's so stoic and serious all of the time. She's easily addicted to pleasures, though, and that worries me. Beth is growing and speaking a lot. She's fallen in love with coloring, and loves to scribble on paper with crayons and paints. She even made me a picture for Mother's Day. I'll place it in here so I do not lose it.
I'll try and write more often, book. I rarely get a pause as of late, though.
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| Saturday, May 16th, 2009
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9:05 pm
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Beth toddled around the house as Labrae gazed out towards the ocean. The days spent with Zanik seemed to be good for the child, she hadn't been sick in a couple of weeks. At night, as the child slept, mother and former lover had time to talk about the future. He still wanted to be Beth's father, and this made the priestess very happy. A tug on her skirt brought her back to the present, the wide blue eyes of her little girl peered up at her. She looks so much like her real father...
"Daddy?"
She couldn't help but smile. Her own smile made Beth's face light up and she giggled. "Your father is out hunting. He's coming to play tomorrow."
Beth considered this before asking her next question. "Shuuu?"
Labrae laughed and picked the little girl up. Gods, she was getting so heavy. "I sense him nearby, why don't we go look for him? I bet he's playing hide and go seek!" Beth clapped her hands and began to call for the rogue, and the two set off to find him.
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| Saturday, April 4th, 2009
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12:22 am
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She frowned, her chin resting on the window frame, staring out over the quiet hills surrounding Brill. The candle, or what was left of it, flickered as she sighed. The wax had run down the wood, cascading like a pure white icicle down to the floor. She burned it for ten minutes each night at midnight, on the same holder by the window. It was the last place they'd spoken, that hill in the distance, when they'd come to a sad realization. As the flame died, the wick finally giving out after all this time, she turned to her desk and and put pen to paper.
---
We fought most nights, not with one another, but with anyone who would step to challenge us. The arena in the Undercity has candles on either side of the entry points. Red on one side, white on the other. He was so poetic. We had a bit of a losing streak going, and I was sad. He plucked a white candle from the rack and told me that it represented innocence, and purity. He put it in my pocket, and I've kept it all this time. The red candles, he said, were blood and passion. I took one of those, and pushed it into his hands. I remember that feeling, our hands together, both surrounding the little wax object, the smile on his lips as I began to blush. He lived for making girls blush.
It was later that evening, over on that hill. We sat and spoke at length. I had a small child now, a dead husband, and Zanik watching over me when he had the time. Our words were chosen carefully, so carefully. He put away his battle gear and changed into the robes he favored, taking my hand again and pulling me close.
"In another lifetime, I could see myself with you." I told him. He smiled, and he agreed, in his own way. A man could see himself with a lady, I think he said. This life was no good for either of us. He was a ghost, a passing visitor. Had he not held me that night, I'd swear he was never real at all. The smell of cherries still haunts me. I get so excited, I look around, but he's never there. With this candle coming to it's end, I fear he has met his end as well...
---
A leather clad hand touched the back of her neck, tickling the tiny hairs there. She shivered, looking up Shukir and smiling. "I'm done, let's get out of here."
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| Saturday, March 21st, 2009
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4:33 pm - <3
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The little priestess wiped the flour from her brow and nodded firmly. This was her masterpiece. The whole evening and morning had passed without notice, she had given this little project her full attention. Punchy and Beth watched her nearby, both wide-eyed as they observed her frenzied baking technique.
The cake was made up of six layers. Each lemony slab was held together with a thick lime icing, and it was carefully sculpted to look like a tree. The "branches" hung off of it, made of sugar paste and supported with wire. There were fresh fruit slices hanging all over, cherries, oranges, bananas, and strawberries dangled and decorated each layer.
"Just needs one more thing..." Labrae went for her tiniest piping bag and loaded up the yellow icing. At the base of the tree, she carefully began to write...
Happy Birthday Sam!
current mood: giddy
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| Friday, March 6th, 2009
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3:33 am
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Stuck in the body of an orc, a little priestess spends the evening dancing and giggling and talking to her child.
Things are alright.
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| Friday, February 20th, 2009
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12:29 am
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Alone by a pond in the middle of nowhere, a little priestess cries herself to sleep.
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| Sunday, February 15th, 2009
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8:23 pm
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5:27 am
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I sense that Zanik's alright now. After discovering the identity of that man, I went into a rage, and he's lucky he left in one piece. I find myself saddened, even now as I watch over my sleeping husband. It seems like something's missing. His rage, his instability, those were the things I was initially drawn to, and now they're gone. It sounds stupid, even when I say it to myself. The man before me doesn't seem like the man I fell in love with, and that scares me.
Joseph. He's in this world again. He's not the man I fell in love with, either. That's a good thing, as my life is complicated enough right now.
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| Saturday, February 14th, 2009
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9:33 am
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Alone by a pond in the middle of nowhere, a little priestess seethes.
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| Friday, February 6th, 2009
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2:36 am - Ska's journal, page one
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It's lonely. A rogue's life is meant to be lonely, father always said. If you're surrounded by friends, you're just opening yourself up for attacks from behind. Somehow, I don't think he had many friends. I don't have any, I don't think. Maybe I do. It's hard to know who is your friend and who isn't until they stab you. He said that, too. Yeah, he didn't have many friends.
My name is Gillian, though I took the name Skarana. Father said Gillian was dead, so I guess it's just Ska now. I don't feel all that dead, in fact, I feel pretty good. I have an older sister and a weird brother in law and a mentor. I guess they're friends. Maybe. Sister packs me lunches. She makes little sandwiches that are shaped like things. She's the strangest person I've ever met.
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| Sunday, February 1st, 2009
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4:07 pm
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(( New? Lost? Don't know where to start? Go to my profile. ))
Labrae had heard from several people that a young woman was wandering Eversong Woods who looked a lot like her. She crept through the shadows, trailing the girl for hours before she worked up the courage to speak.
"Um..." Labrae stepped out from behind a tree and smiled. The girl whirled around, drawing her swords and snarling. For the first time, sister met eyes with sister. The younger lowered her weapons and stared, her mouth slightly agape.
"Don't worry, I'm not an enemy. My name is Labrae, I heard about you from my husband and friends." Labrae looked her over carefully. Both women were no more than five feet tall, both had rather pronounced hips, they even shared similar facial structures.
"You are the one I keep being mistaken for." Ska spoke slowly, without emotion. "I see now. We are of the same blood. This is interesting." The girl walked over with almost robotic movements. Labrae frowned. Her sibling was still struggling with unlife. Ska paused and stared. "I have been warned to stay away from you."
Labrae's eyes widened with alarm. "Warned? You've been to Sylvanas, haven't you?" She sighed as her sister nodded. "I'm not a threat to anyone. I'm just not like the rest of her sheep. I have hopes that you won't be, either." Labrae opened her pack and took out a journal. "Here, this is for you. It will help you wake up and remember so long as you write in it regularly. I should be going. You'll come to your own conclusions about myself, that woman, and the Horde in time."
Ska ran her fingers over the leather-bound tome and watched her sister fade into the shadows. "Curious. I suppose I will write, then."
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| Monday, January 12th, 2009
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11:57 am
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I'm not sure I was ready to be a mother, but with Zanik here now, I must prepare myself quickly. Rajan and I don't tie diapers very well, thankfully one of the orc women at the inn is willing to help us learn.
So far I've bought him about 8 toys. He calls me "Rrrr" and seems to like me. He loves his father, he lights up whenever he's around. My first goals are to get him potty trained and help him with the orc language. Oh, and to tie stronger braids for him to tug on!
This is much more of an adventure than any of the quests I've taken previously.
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| Saturday, January 10th, 2009
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2:17 pm
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A night in Thunder Bluff was just what I needed, I think. Zanik and I visited the faire and baked a fresh apple pie. It was relaxing, and we slept under the stars without a mountain of blankets over us for the first time in weeks.
Beth seems to really like the faire! She waddled after the tonks and had her first taste of slushie. She's growing up so fast.
I've been assisting some Death Knights I met in Dalaran. An odd woman and the lecherous male she's interested in. I met up with Ambershanks in Dalaran this week as well, he was badly injured. It would seem Mister Sam got in over his head with magic, but I've heard he's better now. I should track those two down and check on them.
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| Monday, December 8th, 2008
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1:05 pm - (( A short story for a contest ))
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The first time I saw a makura, I was visiting Durotar's coastline. It was love at first sight. I refused to kill the cute little lobster men. I followed them around, attempted to learn the language, tried to hand feed them, and was generally ignored or pinched for my efforts. One day, I overheard a rumor about Mr. Pinchy, the magical crawdad who was said to grant any wish. I grabbed my fishing pole and my nether ray and took off for Skettis, in hopes of meeting this mythical beast!
I fished and fished, catching many smaller, lesser crawdads and releasing them. One of them spoke up. "Mr. Pinchy likes the drink!" I dumped all of my booze into the lake and fished, catching many drunken lesser crawdads and releasing them. Another spoke up. "Mr. Pinchy only eats beef jerky!" I adjusted my bait accordingly, catching many fattened lesser crawdads and releasing them. Then again, another spoke up. "Mr. Pinchy likes--" I cut him off. "You don't know what Mr. Pinchy likes! I've been here for weeks now, throwing my life savings into booze, jerky, and every bait I can think of, and I've just been making your people fat! It's my birthday, all I'd like to do is meet this Mr. Pinchy and see for myself if he's real." The crawdad seemed to grin. "I AM Mr. Pinchy. Your efforts have paid off! Tell me, what is your wish?" My eyes lit up. "I want a makura!"
I got a makura all right. The waters seemed to rumble as the beast emerged from the deep. A furious, giant makura began chasing me, pinching at my backside! That Mr. Pinchy laughed and laughed. "Be careful what you wish for, little priestess!"
Two days later, I'd given up. I was defeated. My birthday had left me bruised, embarased and smelling of fish. As I settled into my bedroll for the night, I heard scuttling nearby. It was that dastardly Mr. Pinchy again! I prepared to bonk him good with my staff, but he held up a claw and a small cage. "This is for you. Consider us even." He left the box and walked back to the water. Inside, was an adorable baby makura who I've named Punchy. Punchy likes booze, jerky, and adventuring and is my very best friend!
If you ever bump into Mr. Pinchy, tell him Labrae says thanks!
(I really did catch my first Pinchy on my birthday. I was having a terrible day and it turned around then. Well, until he turned furious and beat me up. I got the pet on the second day, which made up for all of it. <3)
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| Saturday, December 6th, 2008
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10:47 am
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I caught a familiar scent on the wind. Faint, but distinctive. I have to find Dracarys. I've not seen him for weeks, I hope he's alright.
Beth has become so heavy. It's hard to keep her in her sling now. She always wants down so she can explore. Last night, she completely flipped one of the inn's bear skin rugs over to check out the underside. At least the women that run the bar don't mind her. One seems to like her a lot, and doesn't mind keeping an eye on her for a few hours each day. I've taken her with us on most of our northern journeys, but when we have to go to Icecrown, I find her a sitter. I won't take her to that place. Zanik and I bicker while we're there. We've both said things we didn't mean that we later apologized for. Something about that place pulls the dark feelings right out of your heart...
Back to work.
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